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Deviant for 7 Years
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  • Mood: dA Love
  • Listening to: Chasing Pirates - Norah Jones
  • Reading: Fried Green Tomatoes - Fannie Flagg
  • Drinking: Water
So... I've been gone a while.

There's actually a fairly justifiable reason for my disappearance. Aliens? No. Kidnapping? After a fashion. Stalling? Yes. So many times: yes.

Okay, so, here goes: 2014 was both a horrible and wonderful year for me. I graduated from university (Oh my Bejeebus, I has a degree? WHAAAAT?!), but only a few months prior we euthanized my 16 year old pug dog, Holli. While I was unofficially-officially diagnosed with depression way back in 2012, Holli's passing kind of sealed the deal, and I spent the summer and most of fall in a depressed haze. While the anxiety has all but completely vanished, I had/have absolutely NO motivation to do anything, and just kind of moved around much in the way a zombie might: I fulfilled all necessary bodily functions (is Skyrim a bodily function?) but I didn't really feel anything. I just kind of... drifted.

Because Mom is... Mom, and knows ALL, we set up a doctor's appointment and upped my medication dosage a bit, and that seems to have really helped. I feel a bit more motivated to do things. I want to draw and sketch again, and I've finally decided to get off my ass and write because, ya know, I want to be a writer and to do so one must... write.

What's also helped is we just adopted a new puppy, Duke, a 3-4 month old Toy Fox Terrier, and this little tyrant/darling has really helped. I sleep better, I wake up feeling vaguely human-ish, I want to do stuff. I dunno what it is, but it seems I am happiest and at my best when a tiny, fur covered creature (assailant) has need of me.

What this long, rambling excuse filled... diatribe is trying to say is: I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I'm sorry I haven't drawn, or written, or created anything in such a long time and that has to change. It's not a new years resolution. It's a I-Desperately-Need-To-Change-Something-Or-I-Might-Die Resolution, which are far more powerful and significantly more effective.

To this end, I am going to do my absolute best to try and post something on DevArt at least once a week. I know I've said this in the past, but I never meant it. I don't know if I mean it now, but I do know that if I don't, I'm just going to wither to nothing and... I don't want to. I want to create things and share them with the lovely friends I've made here on this amazing, though sometimes frustrating, website.

Also, I want to thank all of you reading this right now for sticking with me. I really, deeply, appreciate it.
  • Mood: Pissed Off
  • Listening to: Crossing the Rubicon - The Sounds
  • Reading: Visions of Cody - Jack Kerouac
  • Playing: Reaper
  • Drinking: Water
I'm so pissed off I can't even...

My mother. I don't know what to say about her. We used to be super close, best friends and everything. We finish each other's sentences, and can read each other's minds and everything, but ever since she started studying religion with these Jehovah's Witnesses (yeah...) it's like we're on completely different planets. I don't get her anymore, and she's been such a bitch lately. For instance, on Saturday Caesar, my Gordon setter/golden retriever, was hit by a car and killed. It was very sudden and very brutal. He was only four years old and he died alone, since my uncle had come to get me to say goodbye but we didn't make it. I was, obviously, very upset and in complete shock, and spent most of Saturday night sobbing hysterically and hyperventilating. So, Sunday morning, I didn't feel up to going with Mom to church (a church I don't believe with anyways) and she said that was fine, she didn't mind, she understood.

Cut to that evening, when Pa Pa's making dinner, and Mom suddenly says "You know what gets me about you, you care more about that dog than you do me." When I announced what utter bullshit this was and how much I didn't appreciate her flip flopping she got uppity and said "I don't care what you appreciate and don't appreciate." Can I submit, to a jury of my peers, how this proves she doesn't fucking listen to me? What more needs to be said? I mean, Jesus. I started ignoring her, since arguing just fuels her pissy attitudes and bitterness and she's all "you can pout all you want but truth is truth.”

Look, I get she's frustrated with her bad vision, painful arthritis and soon-to-be hip surgery. But does that really justify such a cold response? I mean, good God. Part of it, I know, is because every time we talk we end up in a discussion of her religion and end up in a fight. I feel like it's getting shoved down my throat, but if I mention it, she get's all pissy. She's just so sensitive anymore. I really have no idea what to do anymore.



Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
At night, when the objective world has slunk back into its cavern and left dreamers to their own, there come inspirations and capabilities impossible at any less magical and quiet hour. No one knows whether or not he is a writer unless he has tried writing at night.
~H. P. Lovecraft

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DerpyWinston Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
DallyloverXD Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer

I've been gone forever haven't I?
DerpyWinston Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
You have, and the irony is that I left that comment yesterday.  XD
DallyloverXD Featured By Owner 20 hours ago  Hobbyist Writer
Ha, I love that. Gone for months, but I get one comment and BOOM! I reappear. 
(1 Reply)
TheInnerCat Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2014
Thank you for the favourite :) may you have a wonderful day
kimsol Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014

Thanks so much for faving! :iconbark-plz:

DallyloverXD Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome!
IrenHorrors Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the watch! Hug 
DallyloverXD Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. I love your art! :)
jasmineweasley Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my gosh.  Dally, Harry Potter, Supernatural?  :iconcurtishugplz: I love you already.
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